It seems like forever ago that I began my mission to find twelve monkeys. I actually found them a couple of weeks after I started my search but didn’t bother reporting back since it was kind of hard to tell if I had found exactly twelve monkeys; it could’ve been eight, it could’ve been thirty. Who knew there were so many variables in nature? The nice thing about setting absurd goals for yourself is that it doesn’t matter if you succeed or not. They all come with a Participation Award; a really nice reminder of your adventure.

So I found and saw the monkeys and it was as awesome as I thought it would be. They were on the nearby mountain trail that I regularly visit. I was laughing almost hysterically when I spotted monkey #1, overjoyed that after being in Costa Rica for so long and never seeing them, I would finally find not one, but a whole troop of them! Which makes sense since they travel in groups. As I suspected, the species I would find would be the white-headed capuchin. Since seeing them the first time, I’ve run across monkeys just about every time I’ve been up in the mountains. It’s usually mid-afternoon when I finally make my way up there so the local monkeys and I seem to be on the same schedule.

How to Find a Monkey

After my first outing, I learned there are telltale clues that monkeys might be in the area. For example, if you see opened bean pods all over the ground, that’s a clue. If you hear branches rustling or even breaking, that’s a really good clue. Possibly your best clue.

Also, if you suddenly get peed on from above, that’s a clue. The pee method of detecting monkeys is my least favorite. And I don’t think they actually pee on you until you notice them. I’ve only been peed on once and it was after I had already spotted them, so it didn’t really help me in finding the monkeys. Just a wet reminder of their presence.
Pro-tip: to avoid getting urinated on by monkeys, don’t stand directly underneath them. Definitely not with a camera.

Also, you can listen out for them since monkeys communicate vocally. Of course, you have to know what they sound like. The video included with this piece doesn’t help to that end since the forest was full of all sorts of creatures making jungle-y noise when I shot it.

The Two Banana Plan

Yesterday afternoon, I went out again to spend some time with the monkeys but I mixed it up a little bit. Before going up the mountain, I stopped at a market and bought two bananas: one for me, one for them. My plan was simple: eat a banana in front of the monkeys which would lure them closer to me. I would then give them whatever was left of the two bananas thereby establishing trust and resulting in me being invited to join their club! This would lead to amazing photo ops.

If Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that monkeys love bananas so this was definitely a solid plan. I thought about buying more while I was at the market but then I reasoned that buying a bunch of bananas would just be silly. Why buy a banana for each monkey if I can get by with two?

Bananas in hand, I started making my way up the mountain. After a while I heard the rustle of branches and as expected, there they were. I pulled my bike off to the side and simply sat and watched for a bit as the furry little monkeys went about their business. I let them get comfortable with my presence.

Then it was go-time. I positioned myself clearly into their sight and then noisily pulled out one of the bananas from a brightly colored plastic bag, making a big production out of the whole deal: slowly peeling it and then smacking my lips while I bit off little pieces. Finally, just to be safe, I loudly exclaimed, “Mmmmmmm, this is delicious!” I’m still uncertain if monkeys in Costa Rica are bilingual or if I need to improve my conversational Spanish. Either way, I think my facial expressions conveyed pretty well my satisfaction.

Surprisingly, none of this was tempting to the monkeys; they didn’t seem all that interested. In fact, they barely paid me any attention whatsoever. I know they saw me and heard me. Totally confused by the situation I decided just to throw the banana at them. That was equally ineffective. No, I kid. I didn’t throw the banana at them.

But I was getting full from eating the banana so I decided to leave the remaining half for them as a friendly gift. And by gift I mean bait as I was really hoping one would actually come down to the ground and eat it. I moved a pretty good distance away and watched. Nothing. They just kept jumping from tree to tree like they didn’t want to make any new friends. So I took my other banana and went home.

The Ice Cream Truck Method

While the Two Banana Plan was less than fruitful, I’m pretty sure bananas are the secret. I’m thinking I should buy a bunch of bananas and take the ice cream truck approach, riding up on my bicycle on a regular basis, The Entertainer playing through some small, tinny, handlebar-mounted speakers, and bananas strapped to my back. I’ll wave a handful in the air as I roll up so they know I mean business.

Then I’ll stop the bicycle and set the bananas in a big pile. I’ll stand off in the distance, let them have a banana fiesta and each time I do this I’ll stand a little bit closer than the time before. I will, of course, keep a couple of bananas on my person and hold them out so they know I’m the banana man, the one making this party happen. Over time, I’ll gain their trust and adoration and before I know it, I’ll be The Monkey King! In addition to all the insane hidden monkey world photos I’ll be able to take, I can get the one self-portrait I truly want: me sitting on a makeshift throne in the jungle, a crown on my head, and monkeys everywhere! That would be just terrific.

I have a lot of free time on my hands to make this happen. I’ll need to increase my banana budget, though. In studying the work of Jane Goodall, the ice cream truck method is pretty much exactly what she did. I am willing to entertain alternate approaches, though, if anyone has any.

It should be noted that I may not invest too much time in this goal. “The Monkey King” would be a great title to have and the complementary photo would, no doubt, be excellent in a frame on my wall. If I manage to secure those items, great. But I’m already pretty excited about my Participation Award.